Interstellar Eavesdropping

Transcripts from the Void

Stardate 69-O-7723212

An interstellar chat transcript at the General Headquarters of the Kryolian-Oompahloompas, between Her Eminence Supreme Commander of the Krayolapots General Mine-regla Esquivel and her ABFF (Alien Best Friend Forever) Lucresia Dimdim from Asteroid 56AART, was intercepted by space hacks.

For your voyeuristic pleasure, we space hacks hereby broadcast this transmission. For the glory of a united universe!

[…start transmission…]

Lucresia Dimdim (chatname: Liliput) U there?

Her Eminence Supreme Commander of the Krayolapots General Mine-regla Esquivel (chatname: Cutie Pie): Wazzup?

Liliput: I need 2 ask you sumthing.

Cutie Pie: Fire away, ABFF.

Liliput: K. Bin with a hottie from Earth for months now. Last night said hottie asked me sumthing.

Cutie Pie: Ok…

Liliput: Askd f am ready 2 take our relationshp 2 d nxt level. Does it mean that he doesn’t rspect me anymore?

Cutie Pie: Not ncessarily. U shud expct dat the questn will pop up sooner or l8r, as u are 2gether.

Liliput: What shud I do. I said no. I’m still cherry.

Cutie Pie: With ur 8 holes?

Liliput: Yep.

Cutie Pie: Earthman hottie doesn’t know?

Liliput: We met through universal SMS. Haven’t EBed yet. Shud I tell him what he’s up against?

Cutie Pie: Thought u weren’t ready.

Liliput: It’s four against four saying I’m ready/I’m not.

Cutie Pie: hmmm.

Liliput: We did it online, I had an Earthwoman avatar.

Cutie Pie: ….

Liliput: I think he’s the real deal.

Cutie Pie: Come on over to my place. I’ll instruct the soldiers to lower the force field once your ship’s in radar range. We’ll talk it over. popcorn and ice cream n da hwse.

Liliput: Ice cream’s kryptonite for me, Cutie Pie. I morph into a slug, ya know, if that stuff gets close enough.

Cutie Pie: K. Popcorn and corn dogs then. See u n 3 light years!

Liliput: Be there! 🙂 Thanx, best!

Cutie Pie: No probs, ABFF!

[…end of transmission.]


thanks much to liliput, aka Hyacinth, and to phil over at the rut. for the inspiration for this post.

One comment

  1. ohh………. i finished it. i ended the reading as soon as transmission ended.

    beautiful work! 😉

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