feyoh phoned home


for those who think otherwise, i would have it known that i am part of the human race.

and because i am part of the human race, i do have a family, although the members of our tribe are scattered across the globe doing goodness knows what [rest assured that when it comes to my case, i am working in a decent profession (see blog sidebar)].

feeling a bit homesick just recently, i made a call to our “ancestral domain” in my hometown. i meant to speak with my auntie-grandmama (she’s the aunt of my real grandmother) to assure her that i haven’t married yet because the latest news i’ve heard was that she burst into tears when she received mail from me bearing my legal name + feyoh (my second name). she’d assumed the worst and could not be consoled because her “dear little (insert pet name here)” has gone off and gotten married without telling her. it got sorted out in the end, with an overseas call to New York, where my aunts live, to confirm that I haven’t hitched myself to a horse buggy or something.

so, okay, back to the present… i made a call to the old folks, hoping with speak to auntie-grandmama. however. after five rings, the phone was picked up by no other than (insert transylvanian music here) my real grandmother, back from her vacation in boracay.

no offense, okay, but my real grandmother and i are not that close. maybe because i grew up far from her and her monarchial ways, or maybe, years back, she witnessed me morph into a hellion teenager in one of her annual visits to the country, that we don’t seem to have things in common which could have made our conversation sessions more flowery and memorable. umm, we do have the same tastes in interior decorating and the fact that people who know us both would say that i resemble her in her younger days.

our phone conversation, which lasted two minutes and twenty-seven seconds, went on like this:

real grandmother (RG): hello.

me: hello, may i speak with auntie-grandmama?

RG: who is this?

me (recognizing RG’s imperious tone): this is feyoh… RG?

RG: oh. feyoh.

[uncomfortable pause]

RG: where are you now?

me: um, still in dumzville. working. how are you?

RG: so-so. i just came back yesterday from bora.

me: oh. how was it?

RG: fine. how’s work?

me: fine.

[uncomfortable pause]

RG: i’m off to NY on the 22nd.

me: oh.

RG: so, how’s your mama?

me: she’s in Australia.

RG: oh.

[uncomfortable pause]

me: please give my hello to the aunts when you get to NY.

RG: sure. you wanna talk with auntie-grandmama?

me: oh, no. it’s okay. i just wanted to say hello to all of you.

RG: okay.

me: bye.

RG: bye.

then i hung up.

i really should attend those family counselling sessions.




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