served fresh from the forest floor

Get Away From The Manger

Ebenezer Scrooze may have spawned a daughter. Or I am channeling the Grinch again.

How many years has it been already when I really felt the Yuletide spirit take possession of my jaded soul and melt my frozen heart and warmed its cockles that the heat would spread to the tips of my toes and create a crimson flush across my cheeks? Three? Seven? Who would remember?

I used to make Christmas decorations in mid-September, be the one to insist on putting Japanese lanterns up by October, and be the first to sing Christmas carols while people still honored their dead.

Maybe that early frenzy robbed me of the novel feel for the holiday season as the years progressed.

~Sigh.~

~Double sigh.~

I did buy some tinsels and shiny balls and glittered flowers yesterday. But when I got home and emptied the bags on the kitchen table for a bit of show and tell for Ta’s elder sister, I discovered that I can’t summon the energy to create a Yuletide wonderland.

While Ta’s sister, Marichu, puttered about with dinner preparations, all the while expressing her excitement at the decorations, I tried hanging up some of those sparkly garlands. But the results were – blah. Totally lifeless. I can’t feel the joy although I did try to “breathe” in the season’s spirit. Maybe the spirit has departed already for a more lucrative venture on Valentine’s day.

Even Marichu noticed the blandness of it.

“Perhaps a bit of green on that side,” she suggested tentatively and pointed to a cluster of the gold garland with gold balls and gold flowers. Right. Truly monotonically monochromatic.

I did as she advised. Then ate dinner. And then slept.

The early morning found most of the shiny balls on the floor, one made crackling sounds in our dog’s mouth. The garlands were a tangled mess. Turned out I didn’t put enough adhesive to hold the whole sheebang together… even to last just until Christmas morning.

Bah. Hurrah.

Don’t mind me. I am not really up for cheerful holidays. Maybe, I function better with occasions that commemorate gloom, like Halloween, Feast of the Fallen Warriors, and Guy Fawkes’ Night.

Call me when Black Saturday rolls in.

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2 responses

  1. Sirius

    While I do not share your sentiments [havin small children has the added bonus of bringing the magic back!], I am impressed that you managed to find a way to insert the word “cockles” into this piece. Good word usage! I love old words as much as I love old holidays. While it’s true that some joys fade as time goes by [try drinking a tepid coffee. ugh], I think that our POV has much to do with it. Things have a way of coming back around. Hand-me-down cast-off has a way of becoming vintage. Outdated has a way of becoming classic. Old junk becomes priceless antiques. But they only do so if we are careful to maintain and cherish them in that doldrum noman’s land between novel joy and nostaligic celebration. On the other hand, some things never lose their fascination. My wife & I particularly enjoy the boring, old, been there, done that tradition of mistletoe. [heh heh]

    Wishing you a Happy Holidays,
    Sirius Knott

    6 December, 2008 at 10:23 pm

  2. Thank you for visiting, Sirius.

    I hold on to the promise of hope in your message. And ‘though I still feel the letdown of not having the “proper” emotion for this season, I sincerely wish for you and your family mirth and lots of laughter.

    p.s… you’re right about the tepid coffee. :)

    7 December, 2008 at 9:47 am

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