Gawd, I miss the people at The Shoe Factory.
I never thought I’d say it this early, and someone had mentioned that it seemed too easy for me to let go and break away. But it isn’t like that at all.
Today feels lonely. Ghostown lonely.
I miss the banter of my group. Kim, Redcaptrio, Tetet… We were together in one shift, and there were always moments set aside each day for nonsensical conversations that sent us to giggling fits. Then there are also others, like the Sandy Egans, the old Severians… As one Shoemaker said, our bunch contained colorful personalities.
And who would have thought that I’d be pining for the grease slathered on lard mystery lunch they served at The Shoe Factory canteen and the smirking faces of the canteen staff who hover over the food and seemed to not want to sell their wares? But right now, I slightly am. *shudder*
This morning, I am in the city to run errands and purchase tickets for Ta and myself for the trip to Cagayan de Oro this Sunday. I did the errands and found the day still early for me to return to my forest refuge… still have time for a few hours in an Internet cafe. Usual. Usual. But what is missing is the feeling that I have hurry home soon to freshen up before going to work.
Eh. I already left The Shoe Factory. So, calling any future employers, consider Feyoh as an applicant for any job that fits her qualifications, thank you very much. Just nothing that involves swallowing swords.
Job? Applicant? Why work?
Wasn’t she supposed to study in Germany?
Technically, yes. I’ve corresponded with the kind Fraulein from the University of Muenster, who is in charge of admissions, and she told me that all I need now is learn Deutsche for me to, hopefully, pass certain qualifying exams before enrolling in the Winter Term.
But, capillaries and aorta! The Fates placed me at just at this junction, and there’s no one around from whom I could ask for directions. But the signs say that on one road, it’s Europe and finishing my masters studies before I turn thirty; on the other, it says “Family” which is something close to my heart.
My mother who was recently diagnosed with a heart condition and who was advised by her doctor to lay low for a while so as to prevent any more aggravation to her swollen heart. She experiences fatigue each time she does anything strenuous. She can’t carry more than three kilos at any one time; she’s been prescribed with different meds to be taken everyday and was told to live a stress-free life from here on in. And she would need constant monitoring… just in case.
She’s a strong woman. But all the experiences she carried alone as a widowed mother of two took its toll on her health.
She’s all I have in my immediate family; my brother passed on nearly eight years ago. I could not bear to be thousands of miles away while my mother is ill.
So… Escape plan: successful. Where I go from here: hazy.
I need to update my resume, and I might call JJ for that animal rescue thing she talked about one time. It probably would not hurt if I study the German language, too.
See if my blinker is on while I make a turn.
[image courtesy of Girls By Design]