Here’s a really nice link about obsessional thinking:
Oh yeah… I think I may have it.
Mr. Xavier (also known in some circles as The Job Hater’s regular pester, or the Borat-defender fiend of the Abyss, or — a long time ago — as Alvin of The Shoe Factory) gave a trumpet call yesterday in one of my posts (see his comment on the post titled “Life Just Threw a Curve Ball!”).
I was curious about this obsession issue because I feel that I have an acute case of it; if I allow myself to give in to it, I may ruin all that I have and all that I am. So, earlier, I trawled through several sites and came across the article whose link I’ve posted above. Very scientific. Very in depth.
Reading the contents was like getting to know myself through astrological profiling. Only, in horoscope charts, they tell the good stuff and gloss over the darker aspects of my personality. I’m a Libra, by the way, with Virgo as my ascendant sign and with Scorpio in my third house. Reading the anxiety care article was like discovering what actually goes on during an autopsy. Gory. But somehow liberating. Here I was just thinking that I am premenstrual each time strange thoughts come into my head, e.g., should I migrate to the Bamahas or should I stay and try to resurrect the Hippie culture by turning my tropical jungle home into a commune? Is the iron still on when I left the house this morning? Is there something better than what I’m having now?
I thought my ambivalence was just brought about by stress. [insert weak laughter here] It seems that it’s actually a manifestation of something darker. Much much darker. Much much darker that it’s actually black.
I need to focus. A shrink may not be a bad idea, too.
Thanks, Mr. Xavier.